Emotion-Focused Family Therapy

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A community-based model rooted in a deep and unwavering belief in the healing power of families and systems, the essence of EFFT is to afford caregivers and significant others a role in supporting their loved one’s mental health and well-being. The model has evolved – and significantly – in the last few years, including in a way that addresses some of the hurts from psychology psychiatry and social works parent blaming past. At the same time, we are doing more to leverage the latest in neuroscience to support systemic change that is lasting.

For example, we used to “teach” parent and caregivers certain skills so that they could be more responsive to their loved one’s needs with a focus on:

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Intervention Module A. Offering targeted behavioral support, that is, assisting their loved one – regardless of age – in the interruption of symptoms and maladaptive behaviors (anxiety, depression, OCD, addictions, an eating disorder, etc.), in the transition from stressful life events, and the increased engagement in health-focused behaviors 

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Intervention Module B. Offering targeted emotional support, that is supporting their loved one to approach, process and manage stress and distress, making symptoms less necessary to cope

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Intervention Module C. Facilitating therapeutic apologies in order to strengthen the relationship (and therefore the potential of their supportive efforts), helping loved ones to let go of the weight of old pain/self-blame/self-stigma, etc.

Now, we still "teach" parents and caregivers these intervention modules, but in the spirit of helping them to remember, helping them to reclaim access to their instincts - access that was thwarted by historical, intergenerational, institutional, persistent and personal traumas, or "HIIPPS" as Resmaa Menakem refers to them. The practical strategies we share are also offered to parents and caregivers in a manner that is more consistent with the development and strengthening of new neural pathways.

And when parents and caregivers engage in problematic caregiving patterns, we assume these patterns were once adaptive, including via internalized oppression (e.g., forced emotional avoidance patterns for psychological and/or physical survival) and/or they are emotional stress reactions. For example, some caregivers are afraid of engaging with their loved one (child/partner) with the tasks of behavioral and emotional support in case it leads to their loved one feeling far too overwhelmed, or it causes too much disruption for other family members. These powerful fears can lead couples and families to become stuck in unhelpful patterns (walking on eggshells, feeling resentful, etc). A few common concerns include the fears that if they tend to their their loved one's painful emotions or problematic behavior patterns, they might: 1) run away; 2) become depressed or suicidal and 3) move in with the other custodial parent (in the case of split-families). There are many other "blocks" that can surface throughout a family’s journey to supporting their loved one to wellness. For example, caregivers may sometimes feel resentful that their loved one continues to struggle, and this resentment can influence their helping behaviors. Other caregivers may feel helpless and without skills and thus find themselves relying on less-than optimal techniques to try to motivate behavior change in the other.

Regardless of the source, when parents and caregivers become stuck or reactive by fear or dysregulated by shame or self-blame or other unprocessed or maladaptive, the EFFT clinicians can engage them with numerous tools and techniques to support a return to themselves and to their loved ones, feeling more hopeful and secure in their helping roles. 

A similar module to identify and transform clinician blocks is also integral to the EFFT model, as we are not immune to these processes - to feeling stuck, to holding judgements, to engaging in ways that may not be helpful. In recognition of the fact that we are human too and that we also deserve support, there are tools and techniques to help facilitate a return to instincts for clinicians as well. 

EFFT is meant to be implemented with deep respect for all those involved, and guided by the following principles and more: 

• Community-based support and caregiver empowerment 

• Family-Focused (of origin or found) 

• Focus on emotions, emotion processing, nervous system arousal

• Skills training 

• 1 Degree effect / Difference from baseline 

• Transparency and collaboration 

• No-blame framework  

• Clinicians as equals / as humans